Why do women stay in loveless relationships

Bigger factors such as children, homes, cars, businesses, and finances majorly influence why people stay in less-than-satisfactory relationships. If children and financial ties are involved it can be more difficult to split up, with implications of a messy divorce or break up that will dramatically affect everyone involved. Even without children, a couple that has been together for many years can still feel the obligation to stay. This means your standards and expectations of your relationships are quite low.

With this, your partner can reach your expectations easily as they were low to begin with, thus feeling okay to stay with them because you expected not much in the first place. Their sense of worth was lowered at an early age or too often by consecutive partners, they now value low-quality relationships and perceive them as good.

However, financially independent women, those that live in areas with more men than women, or women with normal self-esteem are more likely to leave an unhappy relationship. In this scenario your partner is fully aware you may want to leave the relationship. They will use a number of manipulation tactics that forces you stick around without you knowing. I brought sexy clothes to wear in hopes of exciting him. He never even tells me I look nice.

We went out to a nice dinner. I wanted to walk around but he wanted to go to bed. So we went back to our room. He rolled over to listen to music on his phone. He never said anything to me. Not even a good night. I thought he would hug or cuddle since we are never alone. The next morning he wanted to leave right away because he wanted to mow the lawn before Thanksgiving. His dad is coming over this year. I explained to him we still would not get home before dark.

He then went to buy me a coffee and yogurt while I showered. When he came back I started crying and I tried to explain to him how unhappy I am with our relationship. Everywhere we go we only do want he wants. He blamed everything on his work hours and his weight.

I kept trying to hold his hand. I asked where he wanted to eat. His mean attitude was there. So I walked as fast as I could to the car crying. When he got to the car he told me I should leave him because he will never make me happy and he will never try. I tried to him in the parking lot. We went in to eat and I cried the entire meal. As we drove home he told me not to talk to him.

So I played on my phone as he suggested I should. We went to Costco to buy a turkey for Thanksgiving and came home. I suppose I should contact an attorney and try to start over. I feel yur pain been married since im My husband has always been loving kisses hugs sweet nothings in my ear for as long as we been married.

About ten years ago he had cancer i never left his side not even durning his long treatments. We thought after his 6 year bout with cancer he would b sterile but no all was good after bout 4 uears later he stoped everything no touching hugging holding hands nothing i thought well im old he probably finds me so unattractive now i started to stay home more in bed all the time feeling not wanting to b alive anymore i ask him y and all he can say is dont fight with me covers his ears an walks away.

The lonelyness i feel with no one to communicate with is unbearable i sleep by myself in another room because he doesnt want to get close to me miss hugs an kisses on the cheek i cry all the time by my self but he doesnt care to talk. Cant take it at this late stage in my life what to do?

I would love for our marriage to be happy again. Ok so just to clarify — does a loveless marriage only mean where the husband is kinda an ass? How about where the husband and the wife are good people but there is no compatibility or connection between the two. My husband is a good person and treats me well and appreciates and respects me as well. But I guess we have never really shared an understanding. We are completely different on all levels and Hence we can never discuss anything without it blowing up.

Sometimes i wish I could just talk to a partner without being judged for feeling a certain way. I did love someone but it never worked out.

But I have never felt for my husband even for a day how I felt for this other person and it just confuses me. So I guess, one tip to survive a loveless marriage is knowing exactly why your staying — kids, security, stability, companionship and the oh my husband is a good man excuse! Tanya, you capture my sentiments. Its important not to always vilify one party in a loveless marriage.

My husband is an extremely kind individual and a fantastic dad. He thinks am cute, he thinks am attractive but at a fundamental level he disagrees with how I operate and think. Its just his nature, he is a loner and I am someone who wants a deep emotional connection.

After 10 years my eyes sting with the pain of the unfulfilled need. What do you do in a situation like that? There is no good reason other than emotional void to leave. And require their approval on everything. Live a separate live. Or… do the unpleasant and embarrassing thing and leave. Clearly, there are reasons to stay.

But can I live without emotional intimacy? Been married 13 yrs and I wish I could turn back time and make better choices. My marriage in a nutshell. My husband and I get along very well. He and my selfish mother pressured me into getting married when I was My husband was very attracted to me and wanted to have sex as we were virgins.

Our church culture was a big part for us getting married so young. We are raising three kids who bring us so much joy. However, I feel absolutely no love for him. Complete emptiness. I imagine I will be emotionally celibate my whole life. The only thing I can do is find joy in my children and my hobbies.

After being with someone who was selfish, I decided to find a nice guy and just settle down. I wish I was living alone and we could just be good friends because we get along but I hate living with him! I am also in the same situation. I married a man for security and stability. Not for love. After 13 years, we have 3 amazing children. I try my hardest to focus on my children and improving myself.

But it kills me to know that I will never have the feelings a wife should have for her husband. Things seem to have gotten better over time till the birth of our first child. Mean while he has never allowed me to be his one and only as if I or any women is not enough.

Ex: I saw messages of him sharing about his day or how he was feeling ect. But then I think to myself because this relationship is unhealthy, is it realky beneficial to our children? Im trying to hold to the dream of a forever marriage for our children but I dont think I cant take much more of being in a loveless marriage.

Any advice? I would like to start by thanking everyone for all being so open and vulnerable. It took me many years to start opening up to my self and my own sadness of feeling alone in an almost 10 year relationship.

We have an 8 year old daughter who keeps us strong and I have two others from a previous relationship with a man who hurt me physically and mentally and then had an affair and got deported to never hear from him again. My current partner is extreemley emotionally unavailable, yet gentile, caring, and patient, and helps around the house and cooks often for all us and we are best friends. Despite all his many great qualities, I feel very lonely and under appreciated and afraid to speak up to him and express my need for closeness and affection.

We do have sex about twice a month but I feel no intimate connection from him and cry after he finishes. He does let me cuddle with him but he does not reciprocate. It seems we are both equally afraid to communicate with one another and cause ripples.

I fear he is not in love with me but I love this man unconditionally. I have learned to love myself and pamper myself and find joy in my relationships with my girlfriends and going out dancing and playing music bus still feel sad wishing he could share my joy and be a part of it. He has had a rough and loveless upbringing, and also does not show much affection to our daughter and almost no affection for my older two which I make up for with lots of extra hugs and kisses.

Yet I hold onto faith and hope that my patience and belief in him, and appreciation and love will help to break down the thick brick wall of fear all he has surrounded himself.

I also am aware that that day may never come and make it a daily practice to love myself and to be my own independent person living the life I want never allowing his issue hold me back. I am also learning day by day how to be completely happy without needs, without affection and with my own self worth, values and objectivity being at the forefront of every decisen I make everyday. Thank you all for sharing and hope that my story can help anyone find lightness of pain, and hope for a stronger self, and to love yourself and pamper yourself everyday.

Going through the same pain of staying in a love less marriage ,with 3 children, stucked in this life ever since ,i am struggling on my own to see things done so that my kids may feel at home. Are you serious? How can you settle for less?

How can you live your life accepting that you are not worth loving? You are here to shine , be loved, and be the best you can be! Yes you are so right! Loveless and all… all I can say is my children were my source of love this whole marriage.

It could be worse! You were created for a purpose by God, and He knows every detail of your body. What would it feel like to be loved unconditionally and accepted fully by God, who created you for a purpose and wants you to Blossom into the woman He created you to be?

Thank you for this article. I have been encouraged to love myself along with discover what makes me happy. While this seemed helpful, I still so yearned for my love of 16 years to want to make love to me, to want to hold me, to want to please me. I realize my parents were incapable to give me affection and love and I have found a man who is very much like them.

Our sex life was amazing for the first 10 years, now I feel like a cow next to him in the bed. Once in awhile he will put his arm on my hip or hug me when he comes home from work. If I ask him for affection he tells me ok, as soon as this program is over and he never follows through.

I feel so unlovable, old, ugly and unwanted. And I feel for everyone who is experiencing this. I feel trapped. I married my husband after 8 years of being together. We have different nationalities and I think this played an important role. After marriage, I noticed the changes in his behaviour.

He will Never appreciate or even compliment me. We do not have any kids but we rarely have sex. He just need me as a companion. During parties a lot since he works in the army and just by showing people a perfect marriage kind of image. I tried many times to Talk to Him about this and he will ignore it.

I think he fell out of love but he denied that. I married a guy with different nationality,different language and yes i agree with you that it played important role.

Since we moved here he has changed a lot and i feel like he never appreciate me at all. Before we moved here we lived in my country and we both were crazy in love each other everything seemed perfect.

I asked him about his job but nothing is stress him not even financial issue,he just changed so fast!!!!! Whenever i asked him what is going on,did i do something wrong? But he completely ignores me. NO nothing!!!. We slept in the same bed but just not the same anymore. Someday,I was asking him do i look pretty with this dress?

He just said okay. Whenever i asked him do you still love me? But i know he is lying. Now, what i wanna do is just wanna keep myself busy. Go to some language course, find new job and make myself happy.

I hope someday he will change and love me again. What about you? Feel free to share me anything. Hi eve. But still within his community. Right now I felt tired of crying and being sad too. I wish I can be too.. Hi Anon, That is great for you to find new friends,new job and not thinking too much about your situation. I wish I could find new job and new friends soon. I still feel hurt dealing with his attitude and sometimes still cry. I will be so glad to keep in touch with you.

Share your email address to me,Thanks. Hi sorry for the late reply, u can reach me at hath. How are you doing? Did you all get help?

How about you? How do you cope xx. My married man has been surviving well on a loveless and sexless marriage for past few years, so he claimed. So is it really possible to stay married for another 10years, without sparks and sex??? Can any mm out there help me understand?? I can help answer that for you as I am in the same situation as your husband. The love for my kids and their happiness out weighs my happiness by A LOT. I would stay in this situation for as long as it takes, but unfortunately my time is almost up not my idea.

Also, instead of wondering how is is doing it, try asking him and try to figure out if there is any way to work things out with that great lover of yours. Are you insinuating that you are his mistress? In that case, I think you already know the answer.

Stop sleeping with married men. My hubby is a really good Person. We both are friendly. I love him a lot. He is an honest,hardworking man. Their is nothing bad bout him.

But why do I have loveless marriage??? I have never felt him showing any feelings of love or lust. He cares about everyone…like his mom, dad, friends, colleagues etc … but but he cannot take care of himself. He works in a financial sector. He is a workaholic guy. He never hurts me. He is an innocent person. Lost in his own world. I quite well understand him.

He is handsome I am beautiful….. I do things which keeps this feeling of not being love away from me. I do things which makes me happy.

I would never betray him. I know love is not meant for me. I understand. Can you advise me the ways I can lead my life without love. He wants me to be happy.

Although I do have a child, I too have an identical loveless marriage as yours. I am sorry I am not answering UR question but posing my own. Yet, how would you advise me? Hi Aditi I will never suggest you to cross a line… just try to do things that makes you happy like go on solo vacation , go out and watch movies. Do anything that keeps you occupied any away from the thought. This is what I cam suggest you dear. Hi Your story rings true to me.

I have been that man but we had children: 4 inside of 5 years no twins. Other than making children, intimacy has been limited as I was always too busy. Due to the number of children we have, she needed a break and went abroad on a short holiday on her own.

That was 3-months ago. Whilst she was away I woke up and realised how much I missed her and adored her. When she returned we had two amazing intimate and beautiful days of love but then I became afraid I am getting counselling to work out why! I believe I had built walls to protect me for the start of our relationship because I feared love and being let down.

When she returned I gave her my heart and I felt vulnerable and jealous. We have now reversed roles. Why am I telling you this? Your partner may not react like I did because we are all different! I hope my example helps you.. Hi Peter, Thank you so much for telling your story. I have tried staying away from him for months but nothing changed. He needs me for his house I suppose. I mean to take care of his food, clothes etc.

I feel extremely lonely. I never thought of crossing my line…. I try my level best to stay positive. But you know what it becomes difficult to breathe sometimes…. I read a lot toake my self calm but sometimes it cuts like a knife. He lives for office at 10 am and gets back between to 10 pm.

I never quarrel. I open the door with a smile. On Sundays too he keeps him self busy. Sleep is my escape. This is the reason I stay up at night on Netflix, reading or writing and sleeping during the daytime.

Suggest me some better ways. I feel trapped like I have been sentenced to a prison term in a loveless marriage. I made mistakes through out the last 20 years of our 24 year relationship, I used to drink a lot. I have two young daughters that are just now reaching the teenager years. I was a salty dog when I was a teenager. I have a hard time moving out of the house knowing that teenage boys will be moving in on my daughters soon. I guess I feel the need to be near the house for this reason.

I guess this is another reason I stay in my situation. My wife just has no desire to change things as far as working on the marriage. She is a stay at home mom with two Masters Degrees she has a very part time job. Guess she has her cake and eats it too. I feel hurt, frustrated, lonely, and unworthy.

What route do I take? Nobody should ever have to be put in a situation of making a choice of staying in a loveless, sexless marriage and trying to keep things stable for the children or move out for ones own sanity and perhaps happiness by a fresh start a life. My point is everything you do in life has consequences. John, I am in the same boat but our four children are all under 7! My partnership has gone cold earlier this year and the 11 previous years I played the role of the loveless partner.

After a trip away on her own to relax combined with losing weight over the six months prior to I woke up and realised I loved her. When she came back all the walls I had built fell down and I declared my love — sadly she has had to move on due to my cold attitude. As you get older, you feel that another day has been lost in your life with the one you love. Apparently your partner will be drawn to the happy you and something can be re-kindled!

Have no idea where to find happiness any more! Good luck mate…. The only difference is I have a son with a life altering diagnosis and feel I need to stay for him. I have tried everything to help my husband become more emotionally supportive and loving but nothing ever works. It is the only sign of affection he gives me — nothing else! I made the same mistake in my marriage and now it maybe too late.

Just have a talk with him and tell him how you feel. But staying in an unhappy relationship doesn't do anyone any favors, sex therapist Kristen Lilla said. Should you stay or should you go? Clearly, the decision to end a relationship can be a difficult one for many people. It can be helpful to visualize your life after the breakup, Cooper said. Will they feel that they did all they could to improve the relationship?

Will they face a loss of a community in addition to the relationship? Your relationship has hit a 'rough patch. Sex therapist Kristie Overstreet agreed. Whenever you raise a concern, does your significant other immediately throw back an excuse without taking responsibility for anything? Solving problems takes work, which means both team members need to contribute, even if you perceive one person to be at fault for your issues. Do you find yourself lingering longer at the office than you have to, or spending extra time aimlessly roaming the aisles of Target just so you don't have to go home?

When you're supposed to be enjoying a Netflix binge , are you both zoning out on your phones, or going to bed at different times? These could be subconscious signals that you're unsatisfied, says relationship therapist and sex researcher Sarah Hunter Murray, PhD. When relationship conflict isn't resolved and becomes increasingly toxic, people start to feel helpless.

You don't know how it will change, and can't see a path forward. Often, the easiest answer seems to be to disengage. It is not actually that easy to divorce , as many couples come to find later. You may start to fantasize about what life would be like if you lived apart. The vacations you'd take, the way you would spend your time, how you would parent If the relationship is truly in a bad way, "Often, couples will look to milestones like the kids being out of the house as the point where they can finally be released.

Other people wait for financial circumstances like a new job, a certain amount in savings or other material securities to come to fruition.

However, they are counting down the days before the key unlocks the door that swings open towards freedom," Bobby says.